My Uncomfortable Mind

My mother is a narcissist. She doesn’t accept my heartbreak, doesn’t accept my sadness. She spent the majority of my childhood, from 9 years old until I was in my 30’s, as a drunk. My father is also a psychopath, a sadistic abusive father. I am blamed for their failures,…

04/05/2026 Sometimes I feel devastated. I remember the abuse of my father, how my baby brother smelled of sex, his cotton pajamas ripped almost totally, down to his ankles. My father said that “his thing, smells”At 5 years old, I knew what I perceived. I don’t want to remember this.…

I had a nightmare last night. I dreamt that I was getting ready and packing a suitcase to visit my estranged mother in another state. When I arrived, I couldn’t find my medication. I always pack it first. I take about 15 types of medications everyday and some medications will…

Forgive me. I can’t always think of a title for my posts, so I am just giving the dates. I have not been prolific, in my writing, over the past few years. Just too much devastation, leading to deep sadness and depression. I am freaking out, because my pedophile father,…

I have worked so hard, to align my sanity, to find the joy, that I need. I have an amazing husband, who would give the planet to me, if I asked. He has empathy, kindness, unconditional love for me. When we married, 32 years ago, I was a traumatized, person,…

I need to write, express my soul. I am bursting with sorrow, with grief. Yet, the thoughts are deep, my mind confused, my thoughts going back and forth like a pendulum. I am having trouble, putting basic thoughts together, because of grief and endless exhaustion. I have been in psychotherapy…

I have struggled with writing, this blog “My Uncomfortable Mind”for the past 5 years. I have developed near death hospitalizations, sometimes in ICU. Twice with water on the brain. I think that for about 10 years, I was quite productive, in my writing. I would write, when the emotions struck…

People have described me as kind, sweet, generous, intelligent, creative, remarkable, angelic, empathetic. My failures occur when I feel that I have been “screwed over”, betrayed, abused, or taken advantage of. I feel that, since I put my trust in someone, and they deliberately destroyed it, they will freaking hear…

I have a ton of political thoughts, now. But , I know that, I can’t say one freaking word, of my compassionate demeanor, or I could be shipped, to God knows where…Yes, this is really happening.

I have never been a disciplined writer. I wrote when my soul felt motivated. Since I write about my own experiences, I find that it leads to profound hostilities from those who, can’t admit their abuse, cruelty, perverse behavior. It is year 2025, and yet, humans, are still vicious, to…